Green Leaf

RIDINDIRTYWATCH: the £70 million that the government has spent on drugs & drink education since 1996 has had its success measured as slight or non existent and even counterproductive. "We've seen over the last 10 to 12 years, particularly among young women, (Campbell & Richards) our consumption of alcohol has virtually doubled. "We are also seeing across the whole of the UK a dramatic rise in the amount of cirrhosis of the liver that's caused by chronic drinking and we are now the fastest growing country in Europe in terms of alcoholic cirrhosis" said someone in a white coat

OUTRAGEWATCH: www.holymoly.co.uk has been hacked by an anti-war johnny foreigner and now I can't idle my time away with cnuts corner - whats the world coming to?

WWW.IAMROB.CO.UK: Is it just me or have the people on Lost not changed in any way whatsoever? On a serious note, where do they go poo? Do they do what they do at Westhoughton Dog Track and bury it in the sand???

WEATHERWATCH: The Atlantic Hurricane Season continues in remarkable style as Tropical Storm Gordon is upgraded to Hurricane with sustained winds of 110mph. Currently, Gordon is doing what we would expect of something out of the bottle, staggering around in the Atlantic trying to find his front door keys. Although Gordon is a category 2 (of 5) Hurricane, he is likely to continue to strengthen over the next few hours to reach category 3 by this time tomorrow. At present, no land is at risk and Gordon is expected to continue to move North-North-east over the next few days before, like Florence, getting caught up in the Polar Jet stream and being ripped apart before heading towards the UK early next week. I shall keep you in the loop.

TEAWATCH: Lawson's last night with the bummer for jacket potatoes, salad and choice of toppings although I draw the line at cold baked beans - not right

SCUMWATCH: I think the red team won something. As the bum chum and I were driving passed Theatre of Shite we had all doors and windows locked as lardy Jocks were very scary. Unfortunately my sausage jockey passenger was unable to advise what kind of tournament this was as neither of us believe that Scottish teams are in the premiership. Please advise.

GHETTOWATCH: 'bruvs, wot u talkin bout??? bumba clat u get my blud, innit me bredren' I suspect this is nothing to do with 'missionin' (have I used the correct syntax?) to the shop for a white sliced!

GARDENLEAVEWATCH: It pissing down, how am I expected to participate?

Rainman are we still on for 1pm?