get your own idea wannabe bastards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPmYbP0F4Zw

they spoil it with the high fives and I was such a better 'bride of thriller' at my wedding to the Hooded Claw

chasing the dragon*

Are pepsi max and quaker snackajacks popcorn made from crack?

*not entirely sure what that means but it was in New Jack City

have you missed me

my many apologies, I have been suffering with consumption over the last month - but fear ye not, I am much recovered and have my own 'list' to bring to your attention....

A man was found dead in the owl cage at Moscow Zoo, wearing nothing but boxer shorts.
The 32-year-old was found in the cage, which is home to a Siberian tawny owl, in a pool of blood with his clothes strewn on the concrete floor. The cause of death is unknown, but could have been related to loss of blood or freezing. The owl is said to be "in a state of shock" and zookeepers have not ruled out that the intruder, who is believed to have been drunk and entered the zoo by climbing the gates, hit his head after an altercation with the bird.....just like a night out in Bolton then

The List

"The List", a compilation of nemesis (is nemei the plural), has been compiled for some months now. Here is a snipit:-

1) Vodafone: for making me be without a phone last year for 2 whole weeks. Quite possibly the worst 2 weeks of my life. No phone FFS!!! And me, a homosexual!! For making be without email for 48hrs last week, and finally for fucking up my download of Madonna's Hung Up video many moons ago - THE HOMOPHOBIC BASTARDS!

2) Lime Bar: shortly before xmas, these down market MFs refused ME entry cos I was wearing trainers. Upon questioning the oaf at the door, he responded "We're tryin' to make it a bit more clubby n' upmarket innit" - You've just rebutted your own statement in one sentence, you fucking mongaloid

3) Not perhaps too PC, (and one of Evilfairy's I hasten to add) but "People in wheelchairs in the City Centre" especially Tesco.

PR Desperation?

With Teflon Tony now less popular than a fart in a lift, Gordie "glass eye" Brown will no doubt be getting under Cherie's feet and measuring up for curtains at Number 10. His public image needs some work however, but FFS Gords is this the best you can do:-

"Chancellor Gordon Brown has allowed a dentist to drill through to deep nerve tissue beneath his teeth without using an anaesthetic.

Mr Brown made the apparently painful decision because he did not want his mouth to freeze up just hours before he was due to deliver a speech"

Oooooooohhhhh nails Gords!! Even though they may now think you're "hard" this does not escape the fact that you have the personality of an amoeba

Sloth Returneth

Regular viewers to this blog (like there are any, other than Evil Fairy) will note that some months ago I developed an eye infection and resembled something from "10 yrs younger" post operation for eye bag removal. Imagine my incandescent rage as a practising and fully paid up member of "The Gays", as I awoke this morning to feel a small sty developing on my upper left eye lid.

Sloth returneth?

Just in time for the weekend as well. WHY DOES GOD HATE ME SO MUCH!!?

oh

I believe in a thing called love?!

Who needs Morrisey anyhoo! Yep, Justin Hawkins wants to win song for Europe and go through to represent Eng-er-land on the 12th May in Finland. A camp glam rocker, winning Eurovision? Surely not!? Well, after these guys beat of Javine et al last year, who knows:-


*waves George Cross, kicks Frenchman*